Am I Qualified?
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As I sit at my desk in the quiet the faint hum of the metal lamp glows beside me, and memories rush in so violently loud they shatter the stillness of the night. Sometimes these memories bring back old feelings of anger, resentment, betrayal, hurt, and doubt. A familiar heaviness tries to creep back in and settle in my chest when these thoughts swirl in my mind. My past can sometimes cause me to question my current choices, and doubt likes to knock at the door. This time I am slamming it shut.
I am in a new season of life that looks different than anything I intended. I had all these ideas, goals, and thoughts of how things needed to be. While working toward checking more boxes on yet another list, something shifted. The urgency of my plans seemed to fade into the background of new plans I didn’t even account for. That is because these weren’t even my plans.
I struggle with doubt sometimes, and I question my qualifications in certain areas. Last night as I tossed and turned fighting with my thoughts, I was jolted awake with this verse as clear as day. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. This verse kept repeating over and over in my mind and seemed to silence all the uncertainty. I was overwhelmed with peace.
I have been praying for quite some time for God to lead me where I need to be. I want to be where He wants me. He has given me direction, guidance, and helped me walk through doors I was once afraid to even walk near. I have walked toward uncertainty, fears, and the unknown. All these steps have been in faith because I know He has a plan despite mine, and His far exceeds anything I could imagine.
I don’t know His full direction for me, but I have felt such a strong calling over the last few months. While my past doubts have tried to detour me, I am reminded God does not only call the qualified but qualifies those called. I will continue to walk in faith knowing that He is in control! I am so excited to see where he leads me!
Love,
Brandi