Checking The Boxes

I flip to one of my “important” lists to add yet another home project. This list, like my daily plans, seems more than full. There appears to be one project after another of tasks that are far from the simplicity of things like “take out the trash” or “do a load of dishes”. Our house task list has been a problem for years. Somehow, we ended up in way over our heads, and climbing out of that hole has been a nightmare to put it nicely.

We have had leaks, busted pipes, and crazy mold issues. We also realized the initial builders only used foam board on the exterior rather than plywood which caused major heating and cooling issues, not to mention a serious lack of insulation. These prominent issues and the need to replace many things inside our home seem overwhelming when added to life's daily minor tasks. When things like repairing a fence, shingles, or flooring become necessary, it can all seem like too much. In times like this, I close my planner with a sigh of disapproval because it feels like just one more failure.

Several nights ago, I laid on my bed trying to quiet the noise of my thoughts and Tyler’s snores hoping to fall asleep sometime before his 5 AM alarm signaled it was morning. I kicked one leg out from the warm blanket in frustration and stared blankly at a three-foot green square of unfinished drywall on our ceiling. I counted the mudded screws that held the drywall in place and followed the lines of mud and tape that seamed together the old and new. Parts of me wanted to focus on the fact that this mess is still an unfinished project, but another part reminded me to be thankful. Though there is still a long way to go, we have undeniably come so far.

I look back over the past few years of my life and sit amazed at all the work that has been done. All the building, changing, repairing, growing, and fixing not just in our home but in me. In us! Are there still big and small things left to work on? Absolutely, but God is in the business of restoring things! My planner is currently sitting beside me as I type this. The coiled pages are closed, but the words on it’s cover speak volumes. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5-6. The remainder of that verse is “In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Constantly trying to do things my way or Tyler’s way did not get us very far! The boxes were definitely not getting checked, and the tasks piled up worse than our weekly laundry! Letting go and giving things to God has opened more doors than I can explain. It is all about trusting His timing and not ours. I have to let go of some of the control I tried so hard to hang on to. Rather than looking at these situations as obstacles or failures, I am reminded to look at them as moments to “be still,” to rest in Him, and to know that His plan is far better than mine. Not all these boxes need to be checked! Oh, and one more thing…in these moments of waiting we can learn to do what waiters do…they serve!

Today I am focusing on being thankful for all the boxes that have been checked! I am focusing on all the ways God has provided, and I am letting go of the illusion I have to control the outcome of the rest. One day at a time, one moment at a time. God’s got this even in the mess and I am grateful!

Love,

Brandi